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Thread: Let see what happens here...

  1. #1
    Inactive Member dwim's Avatar
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    Not One of Them

    I was not that man
    who had burned Joan of Arc.
    I was most likely the one
    who cried at the rising flames
    raising my sword in salute
    & swore
    that I'll free France for her.

    I was not that man
    who had cursed her name.
    I was the one who stood by her
    & told her that I'll kick his ass
    for her
    & I did so the next time I saw him.

    I was not that man
    who walked all over her heart
    How could I when
    I was not the one she loved?
    Her choice
    was him on a gamble of luck.

    I was not that man
    who yelled "Hey baby" at a girl on the street
    I'm most likely the one
    who just went right by
    just 'cause
    I didn't know her in the first place.

    I was not that man
    who took her innocence in the night
    I was the one who
    defended her integrity & pride
    against the
    unforgiving popular masses of his friends.

    I am not that man
    who celebrates being "their kind."
    I don't wear that pride on my sleeve
    one mention
    & I feel shame hanging between my legs.


    [This message has been edited by dwim (edited November 05, 2000).]

  2. #2
    Inactive Member tyledras's Avatar
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    ok, i had a good response and all, but my roommate's computer ate it (i want my computer back!!!!)
    you already know what i think, but let me say again that i think it is well written, and other than that one slightly shaky line the whole flows very well. i like the way the voice of the piece gets across the central theme, and the way the last stanza ties that voice down firmly
    glad your poetry reading went well!!
    so, like, where's the next piece? huh? huh?

    ------------------
    proud to call Ski my sidekick
    namesake of a rascally tabby, courtesy of Eden, my twice-hero
    Katchoo's my hero too

    [This message has been edited by tyledras (edited November 05, 2000).]

  3. #3
    Inactive Member tyledras's Avatar
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    man ! its been 7 hours and you've posted nothing new here dwim....... i'm going to have to tickle you

  4. #4
    Dano
    Guest Dano's Avatar

    Lightbulb

    Good stuff man. It's a little clunky in spots, but overall the idea was conveyed eloquently and clearly. Plus, as always, I enjoy your quirky phrasing.

  5. #5
    Inactive Member Chilimuffin's Avatar
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    nice.... Ironically, I needed to read something like this tonight, so thanks for writing wink.

    ------------------
    "Noctu, nihil pedalum pigmentum refert." - Discordelaidh

  6. #6
    Inactive Member dwim's Avatar
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    tyledras, I only post one poem a week... but just for you. I'll write another one and have it posted up today. (monday nov. 6 2000) ok?

  7. #7
    Inactive Member tyledras's Avatar
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    lol
    thank you dwim
    i'll be good.... (as in not pushy)
    like your stuff

    ------------------
    proud to call Ski my sidekick
    namesake of a rascally tabby, courtesy of Eden, my twice-hero
    Katchoo's my hero too

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